Choosing to Love

{ March 31, 2011 @ 11:23 am } · { love }
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“Choose today whom you will serve…But as for me and my family, we will serve the Lord”–Joshua 24:15



Recently, a woman said to me, “How can we speak each other’s love language when we are full of hurt, anger and resentment over past failures?” The answer to that question lies in the essential nature of our humanity. We are creatures of choice. That means that we have the capacity to make poor choices and wise choices, in spite of our emotions.

When the Israelites were settling in the Promised Land, their leader, Joshua, instructed them to choose their path carefully. Would they serve the gods of the culture they had left (Egypt) or the gods of the culture they were joining (Canaan)? Or would they choose to serve the Lord God who had brought them to this place? The people had made poor choices in the wilderness, but now they had a new chance to respond. They followed Joshua’s lead and chose to follow the Lord.

Having made poor choices in the past doesn’t mean that we must continue to make them in the future. In our relationships, we can say “I’m sorry. I know I have hurt you, but I would like to make the future different. I would like to love you and meet your needs.” Confessing past failures and expressing a desire to make the future better is a choice. I have seen marriages rescued from the brink of divorce when couples make the right choice to love and then learn to speak each other’s love language.

Hurts are not to be denied. They are to be replaced with expressions of love. When we choose to love in spite of our feelings, we find negative feelings will dissipate, and feeligns of intimacy return. Loving acts create loving feelings.

FROM: The One Year Love Language Minute Devotional by Gary Chapman, a republished title from OMF Literature

T.G.I.F

{ September 23, 2010 @ 4:27 pm } · { reflections }
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T.G.I.F

Have you heard about that restaurant? You thought I was talking about it? That this was going to be some kind of an advertisement stint, right? Well, sorry to disappoint but I’m not gonna talk about some restaurant but about my expression every Friday.

Right when I wake up every Friday morning, I say, “Thank God it’s Friday!”

But why do I really say that? What’s with Friday? :]

What’s with Friday? WIRED! Let me say it again, Wired! Capital W, I, R, E, D! WIRED!

That’s basically how I feel every Friday; thankful, happy, and excited…

With this cheerful spirit every Friday now, I can barely remember the first time I was at Wired and the sentiments I’ve had back then.

What is wired, by the way?

According to its’ Program Director, Blessy Gokotano, it is an alternative way of Friday night fun wherein students have an avenue to get wired with God and with right people.

For those who don’t know, Wired is the place to be for young people in Metro Cebu wherein a whole lot of fun and excitement is offered; from a showcase of talents to games, videos, live music-bands from different campuses topped with captivating praise and worship and inspiring messages. (For more info, check out this fan page at facebook, http://www.facebook.com/pages/wired/129998692978)

When I entered Victory Center Cebu at 3rd Floor E&M Dacay Bldg. 72 Escario St. Cebu City for the first time to attend Wired (though I had been there a few times already for other reasons), I didn’t know what is wired and what to expect in it.

Even with that, I still went there… and few things I could remember the first time I was there were….

There was singing… and they sing songs that I love to sing (some are even my favorite) and if I had to forget everything; all the songs, all the tunes and the entire beat; I couldn’t forget how happy I was while singing. The praise and worship at wired gave me a kind of happiness that I had been longing to feel while singing for a long time.

And there and then I knew that this is where I’m gonna be hanging out every Friday. And right onset I declared that every Friday from then on, I’m gonna be coming back no matter if my friends would still come with me (the first few times that I was there, I was with my friends) or not or whether I’d go there alone, sit alone, and be a loner the entire service. That even when I don’t know and won’t know anyone there, I’d still come back:]

Moreover, I couldn’t forget the guy who spoke in front, he said his name was Cesar and he started talking about things that I had wanted to hear from a brother, not from an elderly or even from my father (who is already dead by the way).

And as he began talking, I cried my heart in prayer and thanked God that He made that man who’s talking in front whom I barely know about (except his name and that he’s the youth pastor of wired). And in my mind I thanked that man for obeying God and doing whatever it takes to share God’s Word to the youth.

And more than all those happy feeling and learnings I’ve had during my first time at wired, what I’m really thankful to God for is the mere fact that He brought me there. Being at wired is a great blessing and it’s more than just a Friday thing to me now, it’s a part of my lifestyle.

If there’s one person that I’m grateful to (except God) for being at wired, it would be Ate Blessy. I thank her for inviting me to wired (if not for the invitation, I don’t think I would be as happy as I am now).

And I also thank God for Kuya Vynz, for he was one of the most (if not the most) welcoming and friendly person at wired. While he was talking to me and inviting me to attend the next wired session, I felt like I was talking to a guy that I’ve known for such a long time (though it was the first time that I saw him).

And the people that I’d first met at wired, are now the bestest friends I have and the “barkada” I so longed to be with (the right barkada.toinks!).

The first time I’ve met them at wired, they were so warm and friendly that it feels like I found a family and a different kind of friendship, not the weird one but the one that I’m gonna love and treasure forever.

From being a mere visitor to becoming part of the production crew, I have more than the desire to come to wired every Friday and be happy while singing and learn a lot from the speaker but also the passion to serve the youth, my friends, my schoolmates, and even strangers.

And to anyone reading this, if you’re not attending wired yet, I encourage you to come and get wired with us that you may also feel the same kind of joy that I’m feeling right now. *wink wink*

for KGKL. still ice cream

{ September 2, 2010 @ 5:06 pm } · { reflections }
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wow!

that’s what my heart is saying right now…wow!

i’m just so amazed by God!

i know He does this every time, that He amazes me and you :P

for the past couple of days, i had been so amazed by God by how He reveals a lot of things to me, how gives me new hopes, new gifts, new visions, and a lot more new stuff. i am amazed because i didn’t expect them to be mine (though maybe sometimes i did.hahaha). i am amazed because having all those things just overwhelms me.

they say..you must get used to that for you’re a child of God and He does that to all His children…

YES!i am God’s Little Girl!* ♥♥♥

therefore, God endows me with all these things…

Luke 11:13, “If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”

and Oh! my Father (Heavenly Father)

never fails to amaze me…

He makes me happy…

and He gives me ice cream! :]

the SEARCH for the SELECTA ICE CREAM endorser!! hahaha...

yes He did!!!!!!!!!!

naks naman…”]

ubos na?? :

this morning, as i prayed…

i asked God for an ice cream from a specific person (though i didn’t say a specific time and date.hahaha)

yes, seriously! i prayed to God for my leaders, for our leaders….

and with that, i also prayed that Kuya Cesar (our Youth Pastor) will treat us with “ice cream”

(and i didn’t pray for the specific time and date…..) :D

and i forgot the prayer the whole day…

not until Kuya Cesar gave us ice cream during our meeting at the center…

Wow! I am so shocked by how quickly God responded…

And amazed at His goodness at the same time ^_~

These verses exactly say what I wanted to say, that “11I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.”–Philippians 4:11-12

That some of you may say, “it was just an ice cream.” Or, “anyone could have given it to you, since that’s just a simple stuff.” Or maybe some of you thought of it as nothing, that I and my friends are shallow enough to think of it as something great and amazing.

I tell you, yes, it was JUST AN ICE CREAM and we could have bought one for ourselves.

However, we can’t withhold the fact that MY FATHER is the owner of all these things…and I don’t think there’s anything wrong about me asking for a “simple ice cream” from my Father. Am I right?

And I thank God that He used Kuya Cesar out of all the people who could have given us an ice cream. There is a reason that he blessed us with an ice cream that one Wednesday afternoon (of course, there’s a reason for everything).

Lord, thank you for Kuya Cesar! and thank you for touching his heart to bless us with the ice cream :]

And this is what I read in Kuya Cesar’s facebook page after that occasion, “Your obedience is another person’s answered prayer. :) “

More things I’ve learned:

One is that when we pray, we have to pray specifically…

and also, if my prayer is good for me, He will really answer it…

Luke 11: 9-10, “So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 10For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.”

with that, we have to be always secure of God’s goodness and mercy …

that when we ask for anything, He always listens to us…

of course, He knows me more than i even know myself :]

I just have to say it… that’s what God wants, to hear it straight from the horses’ mouth :P

Lord, i’ll always be Your Little Girl…

and Your Beautiful Princess :]

no matter where i am and what i do ♥ ^_~

i scream for ice cream

{ September 1, 2010 @ 8:42 pm } · { reflections }
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wow!
that’s what my heart is saying right now…wow!

i’m just so amazed by God!
i know He does this every time, that He amazes me and you :P
but you know recently…

for the past couple of days, i had been so amazed by God by how He reveals a lot of things to me, how gives me new hopes, new gifts, new visions, and a lot more new stuff. i am amazed because i didn’t expect them to be mine (though maybe sometimes i did.hahaha). i am amazed because having all those things just overwhelmes me.

they say..you must get used to that for you’re a child of God and He does that to all His children…

YES!i am God’s Little Girl!* ♥♥♥
therefore, God provides for me…
Matthew 6: 25″Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? (you can continue reading until the last verse of Matthew 6)

and Oh! my Father (Heavenly Father)
never fails to amaze me…
He makes me happy…
and He gives me ice cream! :]

ang mahiwagang ice cream! haha

yes He did!!!!!!!!!!

this morning, as i prayed…
i asked God for an ice cream from a specific person (though i didn’t say a specific time and date.hahaha)
yes, seriously! i prayed to God for my leaders, for our leaders….
and with that, i also prayed that Kuya Cesar will treat us with “ice cream”
(and i didn’t pray for the specific time and date…..) :D

and i forgot the prayer the whole day…
not until Kuya Cesar gave us ice cream during our meeting at the center…

does the picture say, "yum yum"?? :P

wow! na.shock jud ko ni God! (i was so shocked by God!)
i am shocked by how quickly He responded…hahaha

and i just realized… that God gave us ice cream through Kuya Cesar because

it’s Wired’s birthday… wow! thank you God! :]

and i learned..
we have to pray specifically…
and if your prayer is good for you, He will really answer that..
of course, He knows me more than i even know myself :]

Lord, thank you for Kuya Cesar! and thank you for touching his heart to bless us with the ice cream :]
thank you for wired’s production crew…
i so love this team, these people….
i love everything we do at wired..

being at wired, serving with the crew, and going to wired
is not just want i want
it’s who i am…

it has become a part of my lifestyle…
no one can take that from me…
unless God tells me to go somewhere or do something greater somewhere *wink wink*

Lord, i’ll always be Your Little Girl…
and Your Beautiful Princess :]
no matter where i am and what i do ♥ ^_~

simply the best! :)

{ August 24, 2010 @ 1:44 pm } · { reflections }
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Simply the best… Reflections of a little girl :)

Here I am, staring at my notebook for hours… unable to find the right words to describe how much I have been inspired by the lives of the missions team from GBC Hawaii that came to Cebu last July.

I could never forget how excited I was (together with the whole Victory-Cebu family) when I learned that fourteen Hawaiians are coming to Cebu to do God’s work with us. For weeks, we anticipated and prayed for them. I’ve seen my leaders plan and pray, and doing their best to make the 2-weeks stay of the Hawaiians in Cebu to be not only productive but as memorable as possible.

But when I and the other UP students saw them enter our campus (University of the Philippines Cebu) for the first time, our excitement was more over the top. Well, it was not UP’s first time to be visited by some of our family from GBC Hawaii. However, it was my first time. And the very first time I saw them and talked with them, I felt like I’ve known them for years. I didn’t feel awkward or anything. I just started talking to them about UP, then Cebu, and anything and everything. They didn’t seem to be strangers at all. It feels like they were part o f Lifebox all along. Being able to spend time with them for those three weeks that they were here in the Philippines, I really felt that they were family. I can freely talk with them like how I talk to Ate Blessy or Kuya Alex (UP Cebu Life Coaches) or even to my peers. Even spending time with them at Ayala or in SM Cebu and the Mall of Asia was just like me and my friends hanging out at Ayala (except that with them I have to speak English all the time).

kuya alex, me, brent, lea, and Kuya Julius at Ayala Center Cebu

Except the language part, everything about them seemed all Filipino (even Chung who doesn’t have any Filipino blood seems to be Filipino in some ways). And I’m so happy to know and feel that they are proud to be Filipinos.

Knowing that they grew up in America, where the culture is exactly different from ours, it was amazing how they interacted with us. We didn’t feel alienated of each other; we bonded like brothers and sisters who haven’t seen each other for a few years.

at Victory Fort ^_~

And just like all other siblings, I also felt sad when they were leaving the PI.  Saying goodbye to them hurts but I had to. Their labor for those two weeks in Cebu was more than enough for God to show His mighty works in the students’ lives. They have done their part, and God has done His but they also have to go back to their homes and to their places that they may continue Loving God and Loving People.

And I’m all the more happy that even though we are separated by hundreds of oceans and we’re miles and miles apart, I still feel their presence through facebook, twitter, oovoo, etc. :D and it’s amazing to know that we can be connected through the internet and through prayers.

I thank the Lord always for sending them to Cebu.

And I thank them more for answering His call.

“We always thank God for all of you, mentioning you in our prayers. 3We continually remember before our God and Father your work produced by faith, your labor prompted by love, and your endurance inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ.” 1 Thessalonians 1:2-3

I have been truly inspired by their lives in a lot of ways. The simple fact that they left Hawaii for a couple of weeks and sacrificed their vacations to be here inspires me. To know that they’ve done everything and anything whatever it takes just to follow what God has instructed all of us,

“Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”—Matthew 18: 19-20

That no matter what they had to pay, what they had to give up,

“Everything I once held dear, I count it all as loss…” –Lead me to the Cross (Hillsong United)

or even if there were oppositions they still believed in our awesome God,

“And if our God is for us, then who could ever stop us. And if our God is with us, then what could stand against.”—Our God (Chris Tomlin)

which makes me wanna do what they’ve done. To go into another nation, and share God’s Love in another campus.

And rock the lives of other students as much as they have rocked mine! \m/

Camous Night 2010:Hawaii Special hosts; Mai-Mai, Joshua, and me

Chung Min, Joshua, and Arnel with some of Wired's Production Crew

Seeing this team, and being with them for those three weeks in the Philippines is simply the best… And I’m looking forward to seeing them in a future trip to Hawaii! Toinks! :D

Team Building at UP with GBC's Team Cebu2010

my 18th birthday BLOG! ^_~

{ August 17, 2010 @ 4:26 am } · { reflections }
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All I ever wanted to do before I go to bed, is to hug my dad and tell him, “i LOVE you, dad!”

For the past 18 years of my existence, this never happened, and I guess there’s nothing I could do to make it happen, because I can never bring him back.

What’s sad about this life is in Tagalog, “nasa huli ang pagsisisi!”

Nagsisisi ako dahil hindi ko nagawa ang bagay na iyan noong buhay pa ang tatay ko. My heart is full of regrets for not spending even a second to tell him that I love him. I never had the chance to show my love for him. For in the short period that we’ve been together, I couldn’t remember anything or any instance wherein I gave him love.  I never had anger, hatred, or grudges for him and some people even asked me why. I simply answer them by saying that, “how could you hate the person who gave you life?”

All I have for my dad is love, and love, and love!

I may not have remembered him exactly (because I was so young when he died)…yet every morning when I wake up and throw a quick glance at the mirror, I see him staring at me.

Is it wrong to miss that person you see everyday in the mirror? Is there something wrong about missing the person you love so much but never had the chance to let them feel that way? Is it wrong to miss your dad on your birthday?

All I ever wanted on every 4th of June is not a lavish party, not a crowded place full of people I see everyday and strangers I just met on the way, not a room full of food and drinks while your mind is thinking of all the kids on the street with no food to eat. All I ever wanted is for my dad to greet me, “happy birthday!” and sing to me, Butterfly Kisses.

Is that even a hard request? I guess not. But still, there’s nothing I could do to make that happen.

And I also don’t want to be stuck in the past, thinking of what could have happened or what could have been. After all, I still have my mom, my grandmother, my aunts & uncles, my titas & titos, my cousins, my relatives, my friends, my fans (if there is one. LOL), my family (from here and there and everywhere), and I still have you! **Etchus, seryoso na kaau bah! :P **

I want to move forward. And I am moving forward. I was never stuck in that past, never. Moments just come when I miss him and wish he was still here. Moments when people tell me I’m pretty, those effortless moments when people compliment me of how much I look like him, those unforgettable moments when strangers appreciate my beauty that I owe to my dad’s handsome face, and those moments that I needed a man’s advice—a dad’s advice. Yes, those moments when all I want to do is talk to my dad, just talk, nothing more, nothing less, just be with him and keep talking. Because no matter what I say and no matter what I talk about, I know my dad is never going to judge me for it.

i am living a victorious life. are you?

{ August 10, 2010 @ 2:49 pm } · { reflections }
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i lost battles
i lost cellphones
i failed exams

my dad died early that we didn’t even had a day together

my grandparents *who loved me so much* died before I even reach sixteen

i experienced having a “Princess Sarah” kind of lyf
i was cheated by people
betrayed by friends;
yet in all these, i felt Happy!

in my heart, in my mind, and in my soul…
i was the winner even if i lose the battle,
i was the champion even if i was betrayed,
i was happy and fulfilled even if i lost my cellphone,
i felt like a genius even if my grade was almost 3.0…

and i was wondering why…

now i know why,
u wanna know why, too??

there is hope in everything…and Jesus’ resurrection was that hope!!

i bounce back for i am an over comer!
and i know & I’m sure that I’m living a life of victory because of Jesus Christ! ♥♥♥

“It is through acknowledging the resurrection of Jesus that we experience a life of victory!” ♥

my immature article…Campus Night 2010, featured: Hawaiians!

{ August 9, 2010 @ 4:42 pm } · { articles }
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*photos at the end of the article! credits to Briza Gift Libre, Cheska Geli, and Francis Rigor. :)

Campus Night is an annual event brought to us by Lifebox—a nationwide campus organization that is passionate about preparing students for LIFE. They not only teach, coach, and empower students in the areas of leadership, integrity, faith, and excellence but they also give students a chance to have fun.

According to Lifebox Cebu’s Campus Director, Cesar Bordalba Jr., that as part of their passion to serve the youth, they organize this campus night every July as a treat to the students from all over Metro Cebu to be with each other.

And this year’s special guests were Hawaiians who spent a part of their time, talents, and their famous Hawaiian macadamia nuts with the Filipinos. They helped decorate the venue of the event and also played some of their most common songs back in Hawaii, like Aloha Oe, Kaulana na Pua, and a lot more. They taught the students how to dance the “skank”, a famous Hawaiian dance that made the students dancing. They also danced to the tune of “Hukilau” (another famous Hawaiian song) as part of their sharing the Hawaiian culture to the Filipinos.

As this years’ special guest, the . From people whose lives had been extremely different from ours, whose culture and currency doesn’t match to ours but whose goal to serve students and young people are exactly like ours.

According to Andrè Peña, a student from Cebu Normal University and a Lifebox member said that she saw many mindsets broken and hearts turned toward God as the students listened to the speakers and got inspired with their lives.

While Jet Ababon, a University of the Visayas student, added that he never expected the Campus Night to be that fun, that students can actually be so happy while they’re partying with right people and doing right things.

Moreover, Jonathan Cimafranca-a student from the University of San Carlos who attended Campus Night for the first time said that he was overwhelmed as he really felt God’s unconditional love through the lives of the people at the campus night.

For the Hawaiians who were the special guests of the said event, they said they were really happy and blessed to be part of such historic gathering of students from all over Cebu.

One of the hosts, Joshua Stacy De Gracia who is a Hawaiian look-alike of Cesar Montano, and the founder of Know God Know Love (knowGodknowLove.com) shared, “my experience of being a co-host during the campus night was kinda scary especially that I had to say Cebuano words. However, I’m glad that the audience had grace on me when they came out. It was an honor to host with mai-mai and khen because they had “mad” talent.”

Well, it has been implied that Cebuanos are really talented and the audiences surely had grace on him and were even amazed that even if he grew up in America he was able to appreciate and speak the Cebuano language.

All the students who attended Campus Night 2010: Hawaiian Special were really inspired by the lives of these Hawaiians; namely, Jayson, Francis, Joshua, Justin, Chad, Noah, Sean, Patrick, Chung, Kailene, Welly, Julius, Josh, and Arnel. They deserve a really big round of applause for what they’ve sacrificed and how they’ve worked with Lifebox Cebu for this event and more.

We were not only amazed at the talents they’ve shared but also motivated by the examples they’ve set for each of us.

Surely, Campus Night 2011 would be as fun and historic as this year’s campus night. Thanks to our beloved Hawaiian kapamilya!

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On learning to give others a chance…

{ August 9, 2010 @ 4:22 pm } · { reflections, Uncategorized }
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What I learned, “Losing doesn’t mean you’re not good… but that

crazy girl

that was the funniest hosting night i ever had at wired...

someone is!”

I had always been the star. Every school program since pre-school, I had also been performing on stage. Whether I will declaim, orate, or deliver a poem. When I reached elementary, never is there a school program that I didn’t host. I am always the pride of the school when it comes to winning declamation contests. I defeated all the contenders in any contest I have joined, I may have missed one but the glory is still mine. There were times I placed second but I didn’t take it to heart for my teachers and my ever supportive mother were always there for me, telling me that I lost for I’m better at something else and that I really won’t win all the time, that there will really be times that I have to lose. I’ve always believed in them, of course. A few times, they were true, I don’t know with the rest. I guess, I believed in all that they were saying for I also want to believe in it. I grew up from there thinking that I am always the best, that there may be times that someone will win and will look better than me but at the end of the day, I’m still good no matter who the opponent is.

In high school, I was a transfer student. Only a few recognized me at first but when I was given the chance to declaim on stage, everyone cheered on me and praised me. From there, I made a name; the school knew me as Caren Hope, the declaimer. Then I started hosting school events, and going to other schools to showcase my talent, then started beating one by one all the best of declaimers of other schools from all over Leyte. All the glory was upon me, I thought I had it, yes, I had it and I thought I’ll have it forever.

There was one instance in high school when I lost a contest to a fellow schoolmate. I accepted the loss, and I thought back then that I was a good loser, but I wasn’t. For I made remarks that I’m better especially in speaking tagalong than the winner and the good thing is that, I had friends who spread that remark and created an issue about me and the winner. By the grace of God, the issue was solved quickly but not easily. From there I learned to control my speech and give others a chance. That I won’t win all the battles I’ll get into, that sometimes I have to get defeated. That losing doesn’t mean I’m not good. However, I also have to accept the fact that someone is better than me. There will always be someone better than me at something or anything, in most if not all the time. And that’s just the protocol of every game, one has to lose and the other has to win. Either you win, or you lose.

Recently, I had been given by God this chance to serve Him through my talent in hosting. And since I love the field and I have the passion for it, I enjoyed every second and moment I got. I knew more friends, I learned and then I fell. I fell when suddenly I wasn’t the host anymore. I got disappointed, and sad! L I wasn’t thinking of giving others a chance to exercise what they also got. I just thought of myself and myself alone. I was too selfish at that time the announcement was made.

However, the sadness I got also ended right there and then. I was reminded by God that I have to give others a chance, that my leaders know better, and that I have to graciously accept whatever decisions they had and will make in the future.

There I learned that I still had pride, that I still had that thought that “I’m always good”, that I still had the selfish glory that wasn’t really mine.

Yes, the glory I so conceitedly claimed to be mine isn’t mine at all. That the glory I had back in high school isn’t mine at all. It’s all God’s! And I don’t have any right to claim it as mine. In the first place, I wouldn’t receive all those plaques and awards if it wasn’t for God, if He hadn’t given me this talent, if He hadn’t blessed me with supportive parents, if He hadn’t been good to me.

I’m also glad that God reminded me of this now. I know that there will be greater challenges in the future and I pray that I will be able to win them more than all those battles on stage.

i have a dream!

{ August 7, 2010 @ 5:37 pm } · { dream }
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Everyone dreams, right? Who doesn’t? We dream simply because we think ahead of time… Sometimes, we are joyful of what we have and where we are but never contented of it because we still dream of things we don’t have. Most of the time, we say, “Its ok, I’m fine with what I have,” and yet you dream. You’re not lying my friend, it’s true, everything’s fine and you’re fine with what you have. Dreaming is not wrong (especially daydreaming), it’s part of our brain’s function to think. It’s typical for normal people to dream…

One of those normal people is this simple girl who dreams to be an actress. She is not beautiful nor is she sexy but she wants to see herself in front of the television, on movie screens, and on stage. She wants to be an actress neither because she wants to be famous nor because she wants to be rich but because she wants to exercise the God-given talent that has been bestowed upon her. She wants to enhance and develop it. It’s not pride but God-confidence for her to say that she “can act.” She admits that she’s not perfect and that she still needs a lot more training and workshops to be a better one in her chosen craft.

You may say, “But it’s just a dream.” Yes. It’s just a dream…for now. We never know what tomorrow brings. We don’t know what opportunities come, what new windows open, and who come to trust in your talent.

You may ask, why “acting”? Well, that simple girl doesn’t really know the exact reason why we love certain things, why we enjoy certain things and why we choose certain things. She may not have the exact words to explain why but she knows some reasons why she might have dreamt to be an actress.

First, she grew up acting on stage. Her growing-up years might have influenced her greatly. In every school program, she’s one of the stars because of her acting prowess and superb hosting skills (she’s not that entertaining but she’s good). Through the years, her talent has improved and her body has been used to the things she does. People ask (every time) if she has “stage frights” or if she feels nervous every time she has to be on stage. Yes, of course. Definitely, she feels nervous every time, (who doesn’t?) but through the years, she has loved the feeling of nervousness and has accepted that nervousness is part of acting (which is what she loves to do). She has learned how to calm herself. And by now, she misses that feeling, that awesome one-of-a-kind feeling she feels every time her audience appreciates her talent, and when people “boo” at it. Yes, some people can’t appreciate the things you do and that’s part of this life she has chosen to love.
Second, acting allows her to be a different person. Each time the director shouts “Action!” she forgets who she is because she automatically enters a world she must be familiar with for she is already a different person, the character she has to play well. And it’s magic that every time the word “Cut!” has been said, she goes back to reality that she is Caren Hope Tancinco and not the character she has played so well.

I’ve said that acting is just a simple dream but it’s not, right? For complicated things lie within that dream…A lot of things have to be sacrificed but I have to for I have to choose between the things I love and enjoy and the things people ask me to love and enjoy. As an actress, you will be told what to do, people will control you and they will consume you (words courtesy of Rihanna’s song Disturbia). But what can I say, it’s what I want to be and it’s where I want to stay. Between the things people ask me to love and enjoy, I know they only want the best for me and I thank them for that concern but I know what I want and I know this is what I want.
As an actress, I know I have a lot of responsibilities. One thing is to be a role model. A role model in learning to separate who I really am behind that mask and that person (that character) I have to portray. I should not forget that I am Caren Hope, that I am the person that has been loved by the audience, that I am different from the character I have just portrayed to be, from that character the audience enjoyed to watch but never loved for they also know that that character has died with every “The End,” but the person behind the mask doesn’t disappear like a bubble upon hearing the word “cut”, it lives on and continues on her journey. Another thing, I must not get tired of learning, for in every show, in every thing I do, I will learn and I have to embrace it with open arms and apply it then on. I should also learn to remain humble and retain my true identity even if people have already managed to bring up someone in me.

If someone (or if some people) gives me the chance to be an actress (anyway, I also love hosting as much as I love acting), I would gladly embrace the opportunity and do my best in it.

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